Saturday, April 14, 2012

Trying, trying

I have good ideas everyday for blog posts, and the Bean keeps me stocked with unbelievable conversations and scenarios to write about.  I just never seem to find the time.

However, with my duties for my sister reduced for the last few months, I'm going to try this again.

The Bean and I had a conversation the other day.  We were having lunch and he comes out of nowhere with this-

Daddy, I want a lightsaber for my birthday.  No, I want two.


And…I want a bird.  Not a real one. One that flaps in the air.

Ok. A bird and a lightsaber.

No, two lightsabers.  [holds up 1 finger on each hand] And a helmet... to protect me from the bird.

[Laughing] Ok. Two lightsabers, a not-real bird, and a helmet.

Yes. For my birthday. [gestures with both hands] That's all, that's all I want.

I often have to laugh at how absurd our conversations get some days.  I know all parents go though these discussions with their kids, but it is these moments when I am glad I am at home with him.

Then there are days like yesterday, when his robe drops into the toilet and he drags it all over the house before asking me what to do with it.  He didn't want me to say we would have to wash it, so he thought walking around with it would get a different answer.  Ugh.  Then he melted down because it had to be washed AND I had to clean up 2 miles of floor.

I read a post the other day parenting and about Kronos and Kairos (I like the Greek K's because Bean loves the letter K) and these different concepts of time.  I keep reflecting on it, because it was quite a great way to come to terms with the dichotomy of being a stay at home parent.  [If I can find the essay, I'll link to it.] [Found it:]
There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It’s regular time, it’s one minute at a time, it’s staring down the clock till bedtime time, it’s ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it’s four screaming minutes in time out time, it’s two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.
Then there’s Kairos time... It’s time outside of time. It’s metaphysical time. Kairos is those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day, and I cherish them.
That's the experience of parenting in a nutshell, and why when people ask if luuuve being a SAHD I always pause and think of that distinction.  Yes, I love parts of it and can't stand others-- and I ALWAYS feel guilty that I feel that way.

I love those Kairos moments with the Bean, and have fewer chances for the with Gote. I almost never get them with both kids at the same time.  Those moments when being a parent is the most amazing thing and we share with our children an experience that make all parenting challenges worth it.  These are what we carry with us like snapshots in our wallet.

It is also often pointed out that during Kairos, we are usually unaware of Kronos.  This is why we end up planning all those family trips, picnics at the park, and end up yelling that everyone will have a good time dammit or else! We are just trying to have more of those snapshots and less of the crazy time.

Anyway, off to sign Gote up for copious camps and swimming-- and to find two lightsabers and a not-real bird (now with free protective helmet!) for Bean's birthday.